This past week I have been reflecting a lot over the past year. Last year at this time Brian and I found out we had a little bun in the oven. It was a magical little bun. I remember we were completely broke, barely getting by, but so filled with joy. It was also around this time we were blessed with a fence project. Not just any fence project, a huge fence project.
{What's that? You didn't know Brian was a general contractor? Well, honey, he is. If fact he can do all sorts of things. He can build fences, and decks, home additions, remodels, new construction...he is a construction genius. He would also be happy to give you an estimate should you have any construction needs. And you know, spring is right around the corner. I know you want to BBQ up some chicken under your new covered porch on the back patio. :) }
But I digress.
Anyway, back to the story. So we get this fence project that will sustain us for an entire year. Not just sustain us, allow us to live pretty darned comfortably. It has been such a nice, comfortable, prosperous year in so many ways. We are blessed. Recently this project came to an end. Just a few weeks ago, in fact. It has been bitter sweetness around our house. Initially, I was feeling a little stressed. I started having doubts that we were going to be able to get by. I was worried for Brian because I know how heavily our finances weigh on his mind. Oddly though, he was at such peace when the project came to an end. And to be honest, I was kind of like, "what the H?" I am usually the cool, calm, collected one. The one that knows everything is going to be fine. The stress free, easy breezy kind of gal. But now I was the one who was worried. And I didn't like it. I knew something was up and I knew what I needed to do.
I started reading in Matthew, you know the story about the Jesus feeding thousands out of seven loaves of bread and a few fish? Well I feel like he did that for us with the fence project. We were so poor, just barely scraping by and he blessed us with an abundance. Then as you go on reading you come to the part where later the disciples realize they had forgotten to bring food on their journey, and Jesus reminds them, "Oh you of little faith...do you not yet perceive?" ...and I was embarrassed. Did I not yet perceive, did I not get it? Jesus was reminding them of the abundant provision that had just taken place. He used it to remind me too. I feel God using this as a time of trial for us. A test to see if we have learned yet to be faithful, to completely trust him. It says in James 1:12,
I can't help but be kind of excited about this. God has been teaching us and showing us he will provide everything we need and that he has a plan. Now he is asking us to show him that we trust in that. He is giving us this great opportunity to really show him the faith we have in him. And sometimes I fail. Sometimes I catch my thoughts wandering to places of worry and angst. I have to stop in the moment and pray against it and remember these verses. My faith is growing. Slowly, but it's growing. What a blessing it is.
